My Inspiration from Oprah and others...

Oprah recently spoke at a press conference in which she gave "too long an answer." While I 'braved' the transcript (it was 18 minutes long) to see what all the commotion was about. I found it incredibly inspiring and moving.

Among some of the things she talked a little about her life, but also about her decision to end her show. I found this the most inspirational, being that I think so much of it applies to my life at the moment. But I guess the part that struck a chord the most was being able to recall another person it would apply to (well all of us really, but the timing of this all is what I refer to). I've been hearing and seeing a lot about this concept and not totally sure how to apply to my own life, I will be frank, but it's good to keep tacked up somewhere by my wall.

(It's long, but read it--it's worth it):

"...extraordinary goal of having a network and what that really means. You probably have heard me say I was afraid at first. I had much trepidation about doing this, and then I read the Nancy Griffin article in July’s Vanity Fair about Michael Jackson, and there was just one line where she said, “Michael Jackson’s friends always said that his biggest mistake was he never understood that ‘Thriller’ was a phenomenon, and he spent his whole life chasing that phenomenon.” I read that and just, like, whoosh. It was more than an aha moment. All of my fear, my anxiety, my sort of trepidation about what is this going to be and waking up in the middle of the night and did I make the right decision, all of that left in that moment. That was a gift to me. I don’t know Nancy Griffin, but that was a gift to me because I realize, oh, that’s what I’m doing. I’m clutching and trying to hold on to 25 years of success. I’ve become one of those people who has been lulled by the success. I pride myself on being centered enough to not be affected by what the outside world thinks but just to stay focused on yourself. I go, “Oh, no, no. You’ve now bought into it. You bought into the Oprah is so successful, everything she touches.” That’s a falsehood. Everybody has to make choices based upon what you feel is best for yourself, and if you start buying into “I cannot fail,” buying into “I’ve had so much success,” then it makes you not willing to take a risk and not willing to grow yourself to what is and should be the next level for you. And if it means that the next level is not as successful as where you were, then it means that’s supposed to teach you something because all of us are here to become more of who you really are. And my life pattern has been — everybody has patterns in their lives, and knowing the pattern will tell you what your purpose is. So my life pattern has been, whenever I have outgrown a circumstance or a situation, I move on regardless of whether I know what the future holds. I always say “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future,” the power greater than myself. And so that was my pattern."

That to me was beautiful to hear that.

I know this individual is very strong and ver self-aware. He made the right choice. God (or whatever you believe in) is working his magic in him and I have no doubt he will be great.

I could stand to learn a thing or two from Oprah, I know. I feel like mine is a slightly different problem, but regardless, I fully expect that God will work him miracles in my life and I, too, will be great, and fulfill whatever destiny I am meant to fulfill.

As oprah said:

"That is how we are all equal because I was born to be who the creator intended, whether you believe in the creator or not, however you came to — whatever it is you believe that put you here, you were born to fulfill the highest expression of that coming."

To my LJ friends

Please consult my LJ. I just posted a blog that I would like people to give input on. I didn't ask any specific questions, I just really would love to know how to stay SANE in light of the recent developments discussed.

Please? THNX

This makes my new year!

Kanye West, you just got "josh"ed!! :)

And for all you Kanye West fans out there, another rendition of his new hit "Monster" for you to enjoy! This is the less-dark version, and has actual monsters. :)


My review of his actual album: Oh Kanye. I really love Kanye's delivery of all his songs (which constantly surprises me given how low his self-esteem actually is) but the best acted and best vocalized part of the video was Nicky Minaj. She was a breath of fresh air. And can I just say, Kanye, are you trying to tell us you want to be one of Lady Gaga's little monsters? haha!

Go here to buy his actual album, courtesy of Amazon.com! :)

My MUSIC!!

New Music: 'Fine'

Minor vent

Things I do not like in the present:

No integrity
No interest
No respect

There.

/rant over.

Books to read and review

Not sure if piling a large amount to books (especially if some of them are self-help) is a good idea. That's the last thing my personality needs: a ton of information in a short amount of time. However, they are all pretty different topics, for the most part.

The book list is as follows (not necessarily in the order I'm going to read them):
Omnivore's Dilemma
Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
The Four Agreements
How to Win Friends and Influence People
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Lincoln's Melancholy...
Listening to Depression...


I had to throw a book for pleasure in there, it's a pretty intense list, though I think I can handle it. Though, the book for pleasure is about Autism....so....yeah. :)

Darkness Visible -- William Styron

A BRILLIANT work by William Styron, author of Sophie's Choice, and winner of many literary honors, about his descent into Depression. An absolutely phenomenal book, I felt I was reading my own life at times. This book was the like-minded friend I never had. Every page was so deep and as profound a look than I have ever read. His depiction of depression was so spot on, and the very fact that this disease is so indescribable for many makes this literary feat all the more impressive.

The book takes place from Styron's memory of his time in Paris in 1985. He was accepting an award, the Prix Mondial Cinco del Duca, when the worst of his depression set in. He recounts the mental breakdown through the 84 page memoir, as well as recounting the suicides of friends near and dear to him.

His imagery has hit the mark in describing a depressive state of mind: "Of the many dreadful manifestations of the disease, both physical and psychological, a sense of self-hatred --or, put less categorically, a failure of self-esteem--is one of the most universally experienced symptoms, and I had suffered more and more from a general feeling of worthlessness as the malady had progressed."

The insights into his own condition gives the reader a sense of understanding about this illusive illness: it is as if they were Styron themselves, figuring it out for the first time. It is a dark piece of literature exploring the the symptoms, causes, and what it means to terminate one's own life, from the standpoint of others as well as from the mind of a depressive state. This book approaches the topic of suicide in a poetic and empathetic standpoint, while maintaining the seriousness and finality of the act. But the book makes no judgments as to the morality of the act. As Styron probes: whether we choose to live or to die is the ultimate of philosophical questions.

Every page is riddled with incredibly profound insights about an illness which effects so many people in the world and America. It is sad to think that it still carries the shame and unimportance that it does, especially next to more socially significant illnesses and diseases such as Cancer and Diabetes, which as Styron points out, have (in the case of Diabetes) things one can do to immediate solve the imbalance of chemicals. The pain of Depression is not as easy to target with such immediacy.

This book captivated me from beginning to end and, without intending this next pun, I booked through it. Every word was food, and I was starving. Depression seems to effect women a lot more than men, and artists more than non artists, but it seems that throughout history both sexes have suffered at it's terrible hands. It's a must read for anyone having dealt with a depressed person, ever been depressed at one time, or are currently depressed.

This book just blew my mind.